I Didn't Really Know Her
by JessieBess
Summary: Two different balls but one common thread. Robert faces his past and he and Tom finally have a frank conversation.


**A/N: I have all these bits and pieces of scenes that I've written which I didn't use in other stories or have been waiting to incorporate them in another story. Some of these I was going to fill out and create new chapters for Outtakes and The Season but I've decide to just combine them here. Hope you enjoy reading this.**

 **1914**

"But won't you have time for anything else besides garden parties and balls?" Tom asked her as they drove back from yet another dressing fitting in Ripon. Just how many dresses did one need for _the season_ he wondered. "Surely you can't spend a month attending parties every day and evening."

"That does sound rather indulgent doesn't it." She gave a little laugh a sound that always made Tom think of angels singing.

"I would think London has so much of interest to offer especially with your interests in politics and such." He turned around for a quick look at her before once again focusing on the road before them. He thought to himself that maybe she had been to London so many times that she had already seen whatever there was to see.

"Myself" he continued on "I think I could get lost for days just in the British Museum looking at the ancient world exhibits. I mean to actually see a wall painting from a pharaoh's tomb or a 5,000 year old mummy or coins used by a Roman emperor or pottery that maybe Plato used for his dinner."

He looked at her through the motor car's mirror and she noted the wistful expression on his face. "It's probably the closest I'll ever get to Rome or Greece or Egypt."

"It's good to have dreams Branson and who knows maybe someday when you're a journalist your work might take you to Rome or Athens."

"Ah another thing that's a dream" he quietly remarked.

* * *

As the Earl of Grantham Robert had many duties and responsibilities to fulfill but the role he relished most was playing host at lavish dinners and parties and tonight he had hosted one of the grandest parties of all. Standing at the doorway, Robert looked around the lavish ballroom of Grantham House amazed that it was well after midnight and the crowd on the dance floor hadn't thinned.

He was pleased to see it was a mostly younger crowd that filled the dance floor as he considered it a testament to Sybil's standing as one of this year's most popular debutantes. Usually by this time it was expected that some would have drifted off hours ago to attend other balls but instead it seemed that Sybil's ball was one that people drifted to after attending obligations elsewhere. While there were some here who were quite familiar to him, sons of close friends like the Bellasis boys or neighbors from other Yorkshire estates like the Greys, there were also many unfamiliar to him. Looking at the crowd he hoped there would be enough food at the buffet that would be set up in an hour or so.

As he waited for Cora who was still in the foyer saying goodnight to the Weltons and the Bellers, the last of "their crowd", he thought of how now they could retire for the evening, leaving the dance floor to this younger crowd and the attending staff overseen by an ever dutiful Carson. Hearing the soft rustle of Cora's cobalt blue silk ball gown he turned to look at her. It had been a night like this when he had first met the young American woman who would become his wife. Looking at her now he thought she was still as beautiful as she had been that night.

As she approached he slightly bowed and offered her his arm saying "One last dance?"

Although she wrapped her arm around his she nodded her head in a silent "no."

They stood there, arm in arm, taking one last gaze at the ballroom brightened by colorful flashes of crimson, deep pink, emerald green, and sapphire blue of the ball gowns as the dancers swirled about. "Well that's a good sign" Robert remarked as a smiling Mary and Matthew, his arm around the waist of her wine colored dress, passed in front of them before they were swept away into the crowd of dancers.

"I think on that happy note we can retire" Cora responded.

But Robert craned his neck looking over the crowd hoping to catch a last glance at his youngest daughter on the arm of an eligible bachelor. "I haven't seen Sybil in ages."

"Last I saw her she was laughing with Hugh Hoew."

Robert quickly turned to face Cora. "The Duke of Ashbury's son?"

Cora broadly smiled as she nodded her head. "Both of them looked quite happy."

* * *

Robert, feeling a cool breeze wafting through the open window of the sitting room, looked out the window at the gray skies that had seemed to darken since he first woke this morning. The cool breeze and the accompanying gray skies seemed a harbinger of foul weather that would interrupt today's outdoor festivities of a garden party at Lord Chutham's followed by a tea at the Welldons. He leaned back in his club chair thinking that last night had been a wonderful evening, just like the previous evening and the ones before that but after three weeks of _the season,_ he found himself enjoying this moment of quiet and the solitude.

He wasn't a man of great reflection but the happiness he felt at the success of Sybil's season was shaded by a pang of sadness. Sadness that his youngest daughter was now considered all grown up. Where had the years gone he wondered. Leaning back with his eyes closed he could picture young Sybil, her dark hair pulled back in an unruly braid, smudges of ink or chalk or dirt on her face and hands, standing before him hopping from one leg to the other for she could rarely stand still, brimming with excitement about this or that. In comparison to her sisters he had always thought of her as his little firebrand. Even as she had aged she had never lost that zest although her causes had become more, he sighed deeply, could he describe them as radical? Like this recent nonsense with politics and suffrage, he snorted at the thought of her recent antics. But it's just a phase he thought, soon she'll forget about all that nonsense especially once these young men start paying calls to Downton.

"Papa"

It took him a moment to realize it was actually her deep husky voice he was hearing and not just a figment of his imagination. Pulling himself upright in his chair he smiled at his youngest daughter and in return he received one of her beaming smiles.

"I hope this weather will clear up by the time of the garden party" he said.

At his words Sybil glanced out the window before turning her gaze back to him. "Actually Papa" she said as she sat down on the ottoman in front of him. "I thought that today I might take a break."

Concern crossed his face. "Did something happen last night that-"

"Oh no Papa" she rushed to say. Reaching out her hand she touched his arm. "Last night was wonderful. I had so much fun."

"Did anyone in particular catch your fancy?" Although he wouldn't openly admit it he wasn't keen on quickly marrying off his youngest daughter he was interested in the type of men that would capture her attention.

"I've met so many" Sybil's words brought Robert back to the conversation "nice people but I can't say there's anyone that stood out from the others."

It was hard for Robert to hide his disappointment. "You mother thought you and the Duke of Ashbury's son seemed to be particularly getting on well."

Sybil emitted a little laugh as she slightly shrugged her shoulders. "He was quite funny and I enjoyed his company but I hear that" she suddenly stopped as she wasn't one to engage in idle gossip.

"Anyway that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I think I've had enough teas and garden parties with the same people over and over" she looked at her father and smiled "well at least for this month. I thought today would be a nice day to do something different, something that doesn't have anything to do with the season."

She looked earnestly up at her father, a look he recognized from her youth, a look that didn't say this is what I want to do but rather this is what I am going to do. "Maybe take a walk along the Thames or visit a museum."

* * *

After a few days of sheer boredom, with the motor cars already washed inside and out and polished to such a shine, and the garage, which he already kept in immaculate condition, gleaming and all tools cleaned and neatly stored, Tom asked for permission to visit his brother in Liverpool for a couple of days.

Visiting with Kiernan would be better than sitting idling in the garage or his cottage, wondering what she was doing or rather worrying about all the men she was meeting. Sybil had tried to explain _the season_ to him but all he had focused on was that she would be meeting eligible men.

Tom awoke earlier than usual even though he did not have to be at the railway station for hours. He had spent a sleepless night tossing and turning, so anxious to see her while at the same time dreading her return.

Of course they had no chance to talk as she was in the company of her parents and sister. It was late that night when she appeared at the garage. How beautiful she looked as she stood leaning against the garage door, her hands behind her back.

"So you had a good time?" he asked although he wasn't sure he wanted hear the answer.

She smiled. "I saw old friends and wore myself out dancing" she laughingly replied immediately deflating him.

"But I think the best time was the day I spent at the British Museum."

She walked towards him. "I thought you would like this" as she handed him a silk bookmark "and these" she said as she handed him some postcards.

"That's a picture of the bust of Ramesses" she proudly proclaimed as he looked at the first postcard. "And this one is a gold coin…"

 **1923**

Cora was sitting at her vanity table when Robert entered their bedroom at Grantham House. She looked at his reflection in the vanity table mirror and watched as he slowly sat down on the edge of their bed. The past two days had been a whirlwind of activities leading up to Rose's presentation at court in two days time and then her coming out ball that evening. She thought everything had seemed fine and going well but tonight he had been in a rather quiet mood all evening which had been rather surprising to her.

She turned in her chair to face him and gently murmured "Robert" but he didn't respond. She rose from the chair and as she walked towards him she noticed that he seemed to be looking at the collection of framed photographs that stood atop the dresser.

"Is something the matter Robert?" she asked.

"Did you ever think we'd be doing this again?" he responded.

She creased her brow in puzzlement not sure what he was referring to.

"I never dreamed we'd be hosting another presentation. I guess the past few days have made me think of-"

He stood up and took the four or five steps to the dresser. From among the array of framed photographs, mostly of the girls in various stages of their lives, he picked up the photograph of Sybil taken the night of her ball.

Holding Sybil's photograph he gently ran his hand across the top of it. When he finally spoke his voice was almost a whisper. "That was such a wonderful night. Remember how crowded the ballroom was and how so many stayed till almost dawn."

"I thought" he began but quickly stopped. Cora rushed to his side, wrapping her arm around his.

"Oh Cora I do miss her so. I miss her-" his voice dissolved in a flood of tears.

* * *

The room was the smallest one on this floor but long ago Robert had claimed it as his study. A room of old oak and leather it was more for dark winter evenings and log fires than warm summer evenings. Lit only by the gas street lamp whose light filtered in through the open windows, Robert sat in one of the two leather club chairs enjoying a final glass of whiskey along with a cigar. Faint sounds of the jazz band could be heard through the partially opened doorway.

It had been quite an evening he thought. The Prince of Wales had graced them with his presence ensuring that Rose would be would be talked about as one of the debutants of the season. The presence of the Prince had been a feather in his cap too.

The partially opened door moved a bit and Tom filled the doorway. "I smelled the cigar and just wondered who was in here" he said awkwardly upon seeing Robert.

"I was just looking for a bit of peace and quiet before retiring" Robert called out. Standing up he continued "why don't you join me" as he walked over to the serving table and poured his son-in-law a whiskey.

Handing the drink to Tom he smiled as he said "afraid it's Scottish not Irish."

"And should that surprise me" Tom chuckled in reply.

As each of them quietly sipped their drinks Robert found it was a companionable silence, something that once would have been unthinkable between the two of them.

"So what did you think of your first season?" Robert broke the silence.

Tom didn't immediately answer for he wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't been impressed or enthralled, in fact he thought it all a colossal waste of money that the estate could not afford, yet he knew that wasn't what Robert wanted to hear.

"Rose seems very happy."

Robert chuckled. "Diplomatic as always I see."

Robert leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his drink. "You should have seen Sybil at hers."

Tom gave a rueful laugh. His reply "Yes I should have" caused Robert to snap his head around and stare at Tom.

Undaunted Tom continued "I remember for weeks beforehand taking her to dress fittings. But I never saw her in any of those clothes."

His eyes twinkled as he gave a little laugh "She was quite annoyed that after the harem pants she wasn't able to go alone and pick out her own dresses."

He looked over at Robert "but she was so proud of those harem pants and didn't regret them."

Robert rolled his eyes "those harem pants! Golly that seems like so long ago."

"I've saved them for Sybbie" Tom proudly announced.

Robert shook his head but there was no malice or enmity.

He stood up, walked to the serving table and slowly refilled his glass. Lifting the bottle he nodded in Tom's direction but Tom shook his head no. Robert took a sip of his whiskey and stared out the window as if stalling for time. Turning around to once again face Tom, his face an unreadable mask Robert remarked "You were … friends even back then." His words sounded more as a statement than a question.

Tom got that far away dreamy look he so often had when he thought of Sybil. "I guess you could say that. Whenever it was just her in the motor car we talked." He glanced over to his left away from Robert's gaze. "She began coming to the garage to order the motor car and we'd talk."

"Talk?" Robert faintly asked his tone implying more curiosity than any animosity.

"I know Robert you think that I influenced her thinking and her politics but it wasn't like that. Sybil had many interests and a thirst for knowledge and she sought me out to talk about them because she felt no one else was interested. We began talking politics and women's rights but eventually we'd talk about so much more."

"I didn't really know her did I?" Robert's quiet tone betrayed a sense of anguish.

Tom, surprised at Robert's admission, thought his old self would have screamed at Robert but that wasn't who he was today. He looked at Robert standing there gazing out the window. "No you didn't Robert. You couldn't … wouldn't … see that she wasn't content with the life you thought she should have. You saw what you wanted to see."

The room fell silent as the band must have taken a break. In the ensuing silence Tom thought he could hear his heart beating. He finally rose from his chair intending to leave but he couldn't take that first step.

The moments stretched out until Robert turned around to face Tom, staring at him as if seeing the young man for the first time and Tom waited for Robert's barrage. Instead when he finally spoke his voice was surprisingly calm. "From the time she was little she had quite a curiosity."

Robert glanced at the floor and then up at Tom once again. "I would guess you were the same way."

Tom gave a little laugh. "My parents would certainly say that."

Robert unexpectedly smiled. "And little Sybbie is like that."

"Aye she is" Tom proudly replied.

"Tom … I don't want to make the same mistakes with Sybbie that I did with her mother."

* * *

The next morning Tom was half way across the tiled floor of the foyer when he heard footsteps on the marble staircase. Looking up he saw Robert.

"You're up early this morning" Robert remarked as he continued down the staircase.

"I thought I'd talk a walk this morning see a bit of London" Tom stated. "I plan on taking the afternoon train back to Downton but I want to go to the British Museum this morning."

"Golly the British museum!"

"I've always had an interest in the ancient world and I understand the collection there is quite spectacular."

Robert sat alone at the dining table, his plate full of scrambled eggs and sausages. Although the morning newspapers were spread out on the table he sat with his tea cup in hand staring vacantly ahead. There was something nagging at him, something triggered by what Tom had said. It wasn't until he was drinking his second up of tea that Robert realized what it was.

The British Museum and the ancient antiquities.

Robert sat his tea cup down on the table. It had been that day after her ball and Sybil had come to him telling him she didn't want to attend any parties that day. She had talked him in to taking her to the British Museum where they spent the day wandering around the ancient exhibits.

"I think there is a lot about Sybil you could tell me Tom" he said quietly to no one.


End file.
